a wind phone
what are you holding onto, that wants to be released?
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what are you holding onto, that wants to be released? •
I sat quietly with my dad as he took his last breath in this life.
and today, i’m thinking about…
For the last few years people kept advising, “be sure to say everything you need to say to your dad before he passes”.
So as I sat there in the stillness, I reflected on whether there was anything left unspoken?
I couldn’t think of any lingering facts or emotions. I wasn’t always sure he’d understood my words due to his advancing dementia — and recently, stages of transitioning — but I knew that my love and support were apparent and appreciated through presence, gesture, action. And vice versa.
He’d mentioned repeatedly in these last few years that he liked how I could sit with him quietly, giving him space to think and process, not ‘entertaining’ him (and not peppering him with questions).
So I’m not grieving the past in that sense. I’m grieving that I can no longer share the things I’m thinking and doing, in real time, today or tomorrow. Dad supported (and sometimes joined) all my creative endeavors, big and small.
making a Wind Phone
When I was researching grief rituals after Hurricane Helene, I discovered the story of a man who made a ‘Wind Phone’; a disconnected telephone booth to talk to his deceased cousin. He later opened it to the public, and this beautiful idea has since caught on around the world.
I love the idea of releasing love and grief in this way — to the wind, the air, the universe. And I would make one for my garden, but … my dad and I never liked talking on the phone. We talked in person, but also shared through sketches and images and book recommendations.
Since images are more comfortable for me than words, I created a virtual sky-writing area (below) to leave space for continual reflection and release on the topic of grief … a variation of the wind phone idea. If there’s anything you feel like releasing into the aether in this way, right now, you can scroll down and use your mouse to write or doodle a message to someone you love.
*only works on the computer, not phones! refresh the page to clear. nothing you draw is saved or recorded in any way.
